You Can Feel the Next Chapter About to Begin

 Do you ever get really confused and overwhelmed in life? Like your heart and head are pullingl you in so many different directions that it's driving you crazy. My heart and my head have been debating for so long now. I've felt like I'm trying to live so many different versions of a life, they're all intertwining. When I'm in some countries, I'm lonely for my friends and family in the others. When I'm enjoying the adventures, I think about the security of a house and a four legged friend. But then when I have it, I dream of all the adventures that I could be out on. I want to travel and meet new people and learn new things! Moving to New Zealand and getting in to adventure tourism, is one of the happiest times I've had in my life. Doing my job as a zipline guide, I feel like I've finally found somewhere I belong. 

I've wasted a lot of time in life not being true to myself. When I finally became single after 5 years, that was when it all changed - I hopped that plane to Australia and I've never looked back. I'm happy travelling. I'm living my adventure life. But could it be more adventurous still? Could it be more fulfilling somewhere else? It's hard to say. When there's people and places pulling you in so many directions, you have to really slow down to figure out which way is pulling you the strongest. 

At the moment, after years of being in New Zealand, the travel life is calling me, so I'll be giving it a go in....(drum roll please)

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 CANADA! 

I've always wanted to visit Canada and see what it has to offer. From what I've seen, it definitely has a lot, so I want to go and explore. I booked flights back to Scotland ages ago, but couldn't leave for Scotland until March of this year. I only booked them one way because I didn't know how long I would want to be there for. I was considering moving back there if I got homesick enough. I don't know at what point my decision to fly home to Scotland, became a decision to fly to Scotland to say hi to family, before disappearing to a new country. After talking about Canada with a couple of different people, and no desire to settle down anywhere in Scotland, I applied for the visa at the end of January thinking it would take months for it to come through anyway. And a month after applying for the visa, a lot of paperwork, police checks and a trip to Auckland later - my visa was approved. 

I've been asked a lot by people when I say I'm heading for Canada with no plan, no job and no where to currently live 'aren't you scared?'. 
Do you know what - I'm terrified. I've booked to go back to Scotland with no real plans whilst there. I've got a rough idea of what to do in Canada but currently no solid plans in place. I've made it this far in life, travelling around with no plans and it's worked out for me. Of course I'm nervous going to a brand new country on my own. Starting life all over again with no friends, no job and having to use google maps to get anywhere. But that's called living. Creating memories and experiences. If I hadn't ended up staying longer in New Zealand thanks to the pandemic, I wouldn't have had the best job in the world, with the most amazing people. I wouldn't have had them talking my ear off about Canada and I wouldn't be looking up flights to Vancouver. Funny how life works, but you just have to trust the process and that if you have no plan, keep moving forward in any direction and you'll find where you were meant to be. 

I've finished up my zipline job sadly, but I still have another two weeks in New Zealand before it's goodbye for a while. A week in the South Island and a week to organise my life as best I can. Get all my belongings down to two suitcases - always an interesting task. 

The sad truth of travelling is after you've moved once, you'll always have someone in life to miss. And I definitely am going to miss a few people in New Zealand.